School life and motivation

Questions to ask your child about school

Better questions than “how was school?” — for little ones, tweens and teens — and the timing that actually gets them talking.

Updated 5 min read By the AI Tutor Vault team, written with the help of an AI assistant

On this page
  1. Why “how was your day?” doesn’t work
  2. Timing matters as much as the question
  3. Fun openers (ages 5–10)
  4. Questions about learning
  5. Questions about friends and feelings
  6. For tweens and teens
  7. Reflective questions (any age)
  8. When the answers worry you
  9. When “what felt hard?” leads to homework
  10. Frequently asked questions
  11. Next steps

“How was school?” “Fine.” If that’s every afternoon in your house, the problem usually isn’t your child — it’s the question. Specific, playful questions get far more than one word. Here are fifty, sorted by age and purpose, plus the timing that makes children actually want to talk.

Why “how was your day?” doesn’t work

It’s too big. A child has had hundreds of moments since breakfast, and summarising them is hard work, especially when tired. Specific questions are easier to answer, and one good answer often leads to a real conversation.

Timing matters as much as the question

  • Not at the school gate. Many children need time to decompress first.
  • Side by side, not face to face: in the car, walking, cooking, at bedtime.
  • After a snack. Hungry children don’t chat.
  • Share your day too. Conversation, not interview.

Fun openers (ages 5–10)

  1. What made you laugh today?
  2. What was the best thing that happened? The worst?
  3. If you were the teacher tomorrow, what would you do?
  4. Who did you play with at break? What did you play?
  5. What’s one new thing you learned?
  6. Did anyone do something kind today?
  7. What was the most boring part of the day?
  8. If school had a superpower lesson, what would it be?
  9. Where is the best place in your school? Why?
  10. What did you have for lunch, and would you give it a score out of ten?

Questions about learning

  1. What’s something you learned that surprised you?
  2. What felt hard today?
  3. Can you teach me something you learned?
  4. What are you reading in class at the moment?
  5. Which lesson went fastest today?
  6. Was there a question you didn’t get to ask?
  7. What are you proud of from this week?
  8. What do you think you’ll learn next in maths?
  9. Is there anything you’d like more help with?
  10. What did your teacher seem excited about?

Questions about friends and feelings

  1. Who would you like to get to know better?
  2. Was anyone left out today?
  3. Did anything make you feel worried or upset?
  4. Who did you help today? Who helped you?
  5. What’s something your friends are into at the moment?
  6. If you could swap seats with anyone, who would it be?
  7. What was the hardest moment of the day?
  8. Was there a time you felt really happy?
  9. Is anyone being unkind to you or to others?
  10. What would make tomorrow better?

For tweens and teens

  1. What’s the most pointless thing you had to do today?
  2. Which teacher actually makes the lesson interesting?
  3. What’s everyone talking about at the moment?
  4. What’s due this week that’s stressing you out?
  5. If you could drop one subject, which and why?
  6. What’s something you disagreed with today?
  7. What’s one thing you wish adults understood about school?
  8. What are you looking forward to this week?
  9. Anything I can do to make this week easier?
  10. What did you do today that future-you will thank you for?

Reflective questions (any age)

  1. What was a mistake you learned from?
  2. When did you feel most like yourself today?
  3. What did you try that was new?
  4. What would you do differently tomorrow?
  5. What are you curious about right now?
  6. Who inspired you today?
  7. What was easier than you expected?
  8. What was harder than you expected?
  9. What would you like to get better at?
  10. What’s one word for your day — and why?

When the answers worry you

If your child often mentions being left out, unkindness, dreading certain lessons or feeling sick before school, take it seriously. Talk calmly, then contact the school. Our guide to when your child hates school covers what to do next.

When “what felt hard?” leads to homework

Often, the honest answer to “what felt hard?” is a topic your child didn’t understand. That’s the perfect moment to help — calmly, with questions rather than answers. See what to say when your child is stuck.

Frequently asked questions

How do I get my child to talk about school?

Ask specific questions, at a relaxed moment, side by side rather than face to face — and share your own day too.

What if my child never wants to talk?

Some children need more time or a different setting. Try bedtime, car rides or shared activities. Keep it light and don’t push every day.

How many questions should I ask?

One or two good questions are enough. Follow their answer rather than working through a list.

What questions should I ask a teenager about school?

Questions that respect their view work well: what’s pointless, which teacher is good, what’s stressing them out, what they wish adults understood.

Next steps

Pick three questions from this list and try one each afternoon this week. Notice which ones get your child talking — and keep those.

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