Questions to ask at a parent-teacher conference

Parent-teacher meetings are short — often ten minutes. The parents who get the most from them arrive with three or four focused questions and leave with one clear action. Below are the questions that get useful answers, sorted by age and situation, plus how to prepare and what to do afterwards.

Before the meeting: five minutes of preparation

1. Ask your child: “What should I ask your teacher? Is there anything you’d like them to know?”
2. Look at recent work and reports. Note anything that surprised you.
3. Choose your top three questions from the lists below.
4. Write down anything the teacher should know: changes at home, health, worries, interests.

The five questions that work for any age

1. “What is my child doing well?”
2. “What is the one thing they most need to work on?”
3. “How do they get on with other children?”
4. “How do they behave when something is difficult?”
5. “What’s the most useful thing we can do at home?”

Questions for primary / elementary school

• “Is my child reading at the level you’d expect? What should we read at home?”
• “How confident are they with numbers? Which skills should we practise?”
• “Do they ask for help when they need it?”
• “Who do they play with at break?”
• “Are they able to sit and focus for the length of a task?”
• “How is homework going from your side? Is it the right amount?”

Questions for secondary / high school

• “Is my child on track in your subject? What would help them move up a level?”
• “Do they hand work in on time?”
• “Are there gaps from earlier years that are holding them back?”
• “How do they handle tests? Is it knowledge or technique?”
• “What are the important deadlines or exams this year?”
• “How can they get extra help in your subject?”

If your child is struggling

• “Where exactly are they struggling — which topics or skills?”
• “Is this typical for the class, or are they behind?”
• “What support does the school offer, and can my child access it?”
• “How is this topic taught, so we can use the same method at home?”
• “Should we consider any assessment for a learning need?”
• “When can we check in again to see if it’s working?”

See also how to help a child who is struggling in school.

If your child is doing well

• “How can we keep them challenged?”
• “Are there clubs, competitions or extension activities?”
• “What would stretch them at home?”

Questions about behaviour, friends and wellbeing

• “How does my child seem in class — happy, anxious, tired?”
• “Have you noticed any friendship issues?”
• “Is there anything you’ve seen that you think I should know?”

During the meeting

• Lead with your top question; time goes fast.
• Take notes, or ask if you can follow up by email.
• Stay collaborative: “How can we work on this together?”
• Before you leave, agree one action for home and one for school.

After the meeting

1. Talk to your child the same day. Start with the positives the teacher shared.
2. Share the one goal and make a simple plan together.
3. Send a short thank-you email summarising what you agreed.
4. Put a check-in date in the calendar for four to six weeks later.

Common mistakes

• Arriving without questions. The meeting becomes a general update with no action.
• Raising big concerns for the first time in a ten-minute slot. Ask for a separate meeting.
• Defensiveness. Teachers share concerns to help. Ask for examples instead of arguing.
• No follow-up. Without a plan, nothing changes.

Frequently asked questions

Next steps

Write your top three questions now and keep them on your phone. Afterwards, turn the teacher’s advice into a short plan with your child — our guide to helping with homework shows how to support it without taking over.